This night is killing me. My body is tired like never before from using it in new and unusual ways. The pain lingers even though it shouldn't. That makes my head hurt too, and i grow unfocused. My eyes hurt. My neck too from lying too long in the same fixed position. I don't trust my knee, so I have to keep lying here, which makes my neck even stiffer and probably doesen't do anything good for my headache either.

You would think I could sleep, but no, my mind is racing, not allowing me to use it for anyting constructive, I feel like someone with insomnia or on drugs. There is no sleep, no peace, just pain.

I'm going to start writing, pulp style.

The test

Disclaimer! The below piece does not expresss any of my views!!! I simply want to see if the governement really is listening. It will be fun to see how many agnecies mail me. Oh, and to see if some extremists also mail me.

This is my free speech corner, don't mess with it! I have an extremists belif in free speech!

Lynch mobs, death squads, babies being born without brains...

Communism rules! George Bush is a wanker! IB-scandal IB-scandal. Extremism sucks! Fuck Al-Qaida! Fuck Ulf Ekman! Planning a robbery. Planing a robbery. More women priests! Less Priests! Let the west feel the wrath of our terror! This is the white mans magic. FBI CIA SÄPO. Governement intelligence is on the down. Lets bomb something! Why? It's in the good book.

Chaos is the future and beyond is freedom!

Free will

Do we have free will? The problem really never materialises unless one is presented with an acutal choice of some importance. Under normal circumstances it's just not something we think about. Could I have chosen the apple instead of the pear? Not really important enough for us to bother about. One could say that we are free will indifferent under normal circumstances.

When, then, does it become important to us? Well, as I said, once we are presented with what acutally looks like an important choice. For instance, lets say a member of my close family needs a kidney. Should I donate? You probably say yes. But then why shouldn't I do that when it's someone else, that I don't know who needs it? Actually I happen to know that there is someone right now who needs a kidney (as there always is), so should I not go donate mine immedeately? And to bring this back to the topic of free will again: Could I do that if I wanted to?

In our hypotetical situation: On the operating table, ready to donate to my family member, wouldn't I start wondering if I could choose to donate the kidney to an unknown person? I know I would think that. The problem is that whatever I do I won't be able to go back and check if I actually could have choosen differently. And suddenly, once the stakes are higher than apples or pears this bothers me.

And why not discuss breifly all the moral choices we make. The world isn't perfect, we all know it. That's why our moral choices almost always are between a bad and another bad. Since this is the case, wouldn't it be fun, important even, to know if we autally have a choice in what we choose? Like always when it matters, there just isn't any way to know for sure, no way to make an experiment to prove or disprove our belif or feeling, that we have free will.

So what do we do about it? How do we tackle the problem? Well, there are several ways that I can think of: Accept that we have no free will, i.e. become a fatalist; accept that we have free will; accept that we just don't know whether or not we have free will, which is roughly like being some sort of determinist; accept that not only is there no free will, but neither are we bound by destiny, rather chaos randomly determines our choices.

The way I see it, all those options are equally valid siince there is absolutely no evidence either way. So I prefer to utilise this glipse, if you will, in the system, this uncertanity, and choose to belive that the facts are as I would want them to be: that I have free will. Or did I really choose that?

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